I can honestly feel my heart grow cold again, i can feel myself slip away. Wanting to do anything to take away the pain. I can feel my heart breaking into the old, sharp pieces that were once restored. My life is a lie. I smile for the ones around me but all i want to do is break down and cry every second of the day. I can tell i'm not caring about my schoolwork anymore, i'm not caring about how i'm reacting to people, im letting my anger and my depression get the best of me. I'm sick of always being let down, i'm sick of getting this pile of hope filling and filling up and it all spills out into a black abyss instead of someone finally telling me its true this hope is finally fulfilling itself. I'm hopeless. No one can love me. I fuck everything good in my life up. Everything is my fault. I don't want to be me. I don't want to keep living a lie anymore. It's not normal to cry everyday of your life. No one can save me, i'm not the fortunate one. I just want to tear apart every visible piece of my flesh, im sick of being strong and brave for everyone around me. I want to cave in, i want to give up. I have no one. And no one needs me, so why should i try to be here any longer?
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