I cry in silence

I think im done. I'm sick and tired of not being good enough for you. I feel like nothing to you, absolutely nothing. I feel you forget me. I'm crying every night, for what? You don't hear me and you don't care because you do nothing about it. It hurts like fucking shit. This. I just want a chance but im not even worth it. Im just a depressed fuck who cuts away her feelings. I just don't understand, i really really don't. Why don't i deserve love? Murders and rapists get love and i get nothing. I'm starting to wonder why im here again, why i'm even here because i feel nothing but loneliness and being worthless. I just wish someone would prove to me that im worth being here, worth being alive. Cause sometimes i just don't even think anybody feels that way or even thinks about it. I just wanna cut cut cut cut cut but people are starting to ask about my scars at work and why i wear band aids and im running out of excuses. This is just too unbearable right now. The thought of you and not ever choosing me. Im just a big FAT loser, im pathetic. I feel empty, cold and numb but no one wants to save me. Im just falling back into my black hole, i'm letting my monster come back. I feel worthless, no one wants me and that kills me inside.