what to do...

I don't know why i am so unexplainbly  sad and depressed today. Everything is rushing back, every feeling of abandonment, loneliness, failure, loser, not good enough... every guy thats broken my heart is just running through my mind, every inch of pain they caused me is just screaming at me and right now the only way i know how to deal with that kind of pain is through a razor blade. And i want it so bad.